Helping Others in a NON Judgemental Way

Anyone following me in these blogs and online pretty much knows that I’m totally into helping others live a life that they love…so that they really and truly love the lives they lead. These followers will also know that I like to give “food for thought” in these blogs so that you can get a wham bam thank you ma’am lesson and be on your way…

Today I want to touch on JUDGEMENT. We all judge! It’s natural…and we do it, researchers say, within 1.2753 seconds of seeing someone (Ok… so I made that statistic up…but you get the point?!)

I had a funky experience that occurred in my life months ago… but has stuck with me as a learning tool since then.

I was walking down the street in Christchurch (most likely to or from a café) and I saw a man drooping over a chair who, I judged as someone who may appreciate some financially assistance. I totally believe in tithing…and do it regularly, so the notion of giving money to a stranger is not foreign to me.

This is where the lesson started.

I asked the stranger if he wanted some money.

He said “Why?”…
Not wanting to JUDGE I said to him… “Just because…I thought you may want some”
He said, “Ok… that would be nice”
Then I handed him $5 to which he said, “Thankyou”.

I wished him well and headed on my merry way as I wanted to walk away without a big scenario.

He followed…asked my name…I told him…he re-Thanked me… THEN I can to the end of the street…and had to wait at the lights… there was no getting away from him without obviously making a run for it…

He re-thanked me… and I said, “Honestly, it’s really fine. I just hope you spend it on something that makes you feel good” to which he said… “Yes… I will… I was thinking of grabbing a beer before I went home”.

OK…So that was totally not what I thought the $5 was going to be spent on…but I quickly realised that I gave the money…wanting to help…and how he chooses to spend the money once it’s his really is his choice. It’s not how I would spend it, but that doesn’t matter.

This whole scenario was such a fabulous lesson in judgement… and how we judge others. Most of the time… we actually judge OTHERS negatively because of some short falling we see in ourselves.

I dare you to OBSERVE yourself for a week and see how you judge instinctively. Write a big “J” on your hand in a permanent marker as a reminder. You might just learn a lesson that will change yours or someone else’s life for the better.

Till next time, Love The Life You Lead.

Liz Benny

www.LoveTheLifeYouLead.com

Decide For Yourself

WOW! So here's the scoop! A while ago now I went out to meet a couple of friends on a lovely Sunday afternoon. It was actually the first time I'd met up with them officially (after meeting them in a cafe... No surprises there, right).

This particular afternoon I had a major ah ha moment...as my afternoon at a cafe (which would normally cost around $15-$20) ended up costing that...AND $60 for the parking ticket I got!

Why did this happen? Well... to learn a VERY cool lesson of course (being the master of changing the meaning I put on things).

Here's what happened...

• I drove into a car park...
• saw a few pay and display parking meters...
• saw loads of cars parked in the same area I was about to park...
• questioned weather I would need to pay on a Sunday (not a normal day to pay for parking here in NZ)...
• found that officially I probably should pay because I was in a private area...
• then saw that over 50% of the other cars HAD NOT PAID...

So...I didn't either. I walked away and started thinking about what I was going to order...MMMmmm Coffee....

See what I did? I TOTALLY MADE MY DECISION BASED ON WHAT OTHERS CHOSE TO DO!!!

In this case...BAD MOVE! But...It got me thinking about life and about how many and how often people actually do this. I used it as a very cool lesson for myself...and you can to.

WHERE in your life are you just following others decisions? Maybe when you order food at a restaurant you wait till the end to see what everyone else orders ... and then order the same. Maybe you're in a career that you hate but feel you should stay in, because everyone else does. Maybe you're content with you're mediocre lifestyle, because that's what your mates all do.

It's time to question yourself. REALLY!

The COST of NOT doing so WILL likely cost a bucket load more than my silly $60 fine.

Decide for yourself! I choose to Love The Life I Lead... and am passionate about assisting others in doing the same.

Till Next Time, Love The Life You Lead!

Liz Benny

Owner and Director, Love The Life You Lead

What Legacy Are You Gonna Leave?

Ok...Let's Get Into It!

Today we're talking about "LEGACY". I'm reading "The Ride of a Lifetime" by Paul Teutul, Sr, of Orange County Choppers, at the moment. What a primo book...and boy oh boy has it got me thinking about life, business, success, happiness, family...and loads of other good things. On the back of this book Paul has given readers a list of practices/mindsets/activities that business owners can use to run a kick ass business like OCC. The one that really got my attention was this, "Leave a legacy - the way you lead today shows others how to lead tomorrow".

Now this book is primarily written for business owners, like me...however the topic of Legacy is applicable to anyone, mum's (mom's) at home with their kids, accountants, lawyers, farmers...anyone.

So here's the deal...What legacy are you going to leave? How are you going to lead to assist others? If those are hard questions, think of it this way:

• When you're laying on your death bed...what you gonna be SO very proud of having created/done/achieved/made?

Or if you 're the type of person who doesn't like the idea of laying on death beds...then...

• When you're 40, 50, 60 years old...and you reflect on the life you've lived...what is it that you're so amazingly proud of having created, done, achieved, made or (insert your own word)?

I Dare You To Take 10 minutes of your day, right now, to stop what you're doing and contemplate on your legacy. There's no "right" or "wrong" answers! For some people it's about being the most amazing mum/mom, for others it's about being the next Mother Theresa. When you're done with answering the questions, be sure to join me on Monday next week (Monday 19th April 2010) at 10:30am NZ time. I'm hosting a radio show where we'll investigate more about Legacy's... Head to BlogTalkRadio for more information.

Till next time folks, love the life you lead...and in theme with today's blog...Live to Leave a Primo Legacy!

Liz

www.LoveTheLifeYouLead.com

Which Duck Are You?

Which Duck Are You?

About a month ago I went to a park here in Christchurch, New Zealand to see our famous kiwi. Now, knowing quite well that our native bird is nocturnal, I didn’t fancy my chances of seeing the real deal. Something else that I didn’t bank on was the lesson I got from about 20 ducks.

Yep! You read right! 20 ducks proved to be great teachers!

As I was walking around the park I walked over to a little creek and stood on the banks. It took all of 5.34 seconds for these ducks to swim over to within a 5metre radius of me. I stood there. I had NO food with me to share with them. I had nothing, other than kinds words, to offer them.

Now, here’s the interesting part:

(a) About 5 ducks quickly realized they were not going to get food out of me.

(b) Shortly afterwards another 5-7 ducks realized that if they were hungry they better go elsewhere for food.

(c) Then, as I remained standing there for another 2 minutes or so, the “left over” ducks stayed also!

Furthermore, the ducks swam (a) upstream, against the current, (b) downstream, with the current or (c) NOWHERE respectively.

So, which duck are you? Do you realize quickly when things aren’t right and do what you need to do to make the necessary changes? Or are you slightly less quick off the mark and then just go with the flow of what others think? Or… do you stay where you are, not moving upstream or downstream?

I didn’t have any food for the ducks, but this is certainly food for thought.

Come join me on my Lovin' Life with Liz Radio Show where I discuss this topic further.

Love The Life You Lead,

Liz Benny

www.LoveTheLifeYouLead.com

Ideas Above Your Station

A few months ago I had the absolute pleasure of spending time with my grandparents, both in their late eighties. I know that I'm pretty lucky to have both my grandparents still with me..and I savour the opportunity to ask questions about my heritage, what life was like for my grandparents years ago etc.

Perhaps the BIGGEST lesson I got recently was the concept of "Ideas Above Ones Station". I'd never heard such a phrase, but quickly caught on to the concept when I was sharing my goals and dreams with my Grandmother. You see, my granddad believes in the concept of "touch parking" and touched up against a lovely Audi with his lovely Fiat.

Upon saying to my grandmother, "I might just get one of those cars" she quickly replied with "Do you have ideas above your station Elizabeth?" WOW! What do you say when your Gma says that to you? I though very quickly. I wanted to make sure my reply was respectful of her, but equally as respectful of myself, my own vision, my goals and my aspirations. I really knew it was important to be true to myself and to not minimize my goals for the sake of making someone else feel better.

My answer was simply, "Grandma, you don't get anywhere if you don't dream". I don't remember her reply, or even if there was one, I simply remember feeling deeply happy that I had respected both parties.

So, to all those who have ideas above your station (which, by the way, is defined as to act as if one occupied a higher position) I say GO GET 'EM! Go get those ideas, keep dreaming, keep taking action towards your ideas, keep dreaming, keep talking about your goals to others, keep standing up for yourself when you come up against those who may not "get it", keep being true to yourself and shine bright!

Key lessons:

• Be true to yourself always - never cower when someone asks you about your goals and dreams.
• Be respectful of those who do not outwardly appear to have ideas above their station - I bet they do deep down but are just fearful.
• "Ideas Above Your Station" is traditionally a term used to suppress people, to hold them in their current situation. I say "If you don't have ideas above your station...You'll have what you've always had, you'll be who you've always been, and you'll get what you've always gotten". Is that what you want?

Through my coaching I assist many individuals from all over the world create attainable ideas above their station. I call it the "Lovin' Life Plan". You can find more out on my website. Also, be sure to tune in to my Radio Show tomorrow to get FREE motivation, inspiration and coaching!

Till next time Love The Life You Lead!

Liz Benny

www.LoveTheLifeYouLead.com