Helping Others in a NON Judgemental Way

Anyone following me in these blogs and online pretty much knows that I’m totally into helping others live a life that they love…so that they really and truly love the lives they lead. These followers will also know that I like to give “food for thought” in these blogs so that you can get a wham bam thank you ma’am lesson and be on your way…

Today I want to touch on JUDGEMENT. We all judge! It’s natural…and we do it, researchers say, within 1.2753 seconds of seeing someone (Ok… so I made that statistic up…but you get the point?!)

I had a funky experience that occurred in my life months ago… but has stuck with me as a learning tool since then.

I was walking down the street in Christchurch (most likely to or from a café) and I saw a man drooping over a chair who, I judged as someone who may appreciate some financially assistance. I totally believe in tithing…and do it regularly, so the notion of giving money to a stranger is not foreign to me.

This is where the lesson started.

I asked the stranger if he wanted some money.

He said “Why?”…
Not wanting to JUDGE I said to him… “Just because…I thought you may want some”
He said, “Ok… that would be nice”
Then I handed him $5 to which he said, “Thankyou”.

I wished him well and headed on my merry way as I wanted to walk away without a big scenario.

He followed…asked my name…I told him…he re-Thanked me… THEN I can to the end of the street…and had to wait at the lights… there was no getting away from him without obviously making a run for it…

He re-thanked me… and I said, “Honestly, it’s really fine. I just hope you spend it on something that makes you feel good” to which he said… “Yes… I will… I was thinking of grabbing a beer before I went home”.

OK…So that was totally not what I thought the $5 was going to be spent on…but I quickly realised that I gave the money…wanting to help…and how he chooses to spend the money once it’s his really is his choice. It’s not how I would spend it, but that doesn’t matter.

This whole scenario was such a fabulous lesson in judgement… and how we judge others. Most of the time… we actually judge OTHERS negatively because of some short falling we see in ourselves.

I dare you to OBSERVE yourself for a week and see how you judge instinctively. Write a big “J” on your hand in a permanent marker as a reminder. You might just learn a lesson that will change yours or someone else’s life for the better.

Till next time, Love The Life You Lead.

Liz Benny

www.LoveTheLifeYouLead.com

Decide For Yourself

WOW! So here's the scoop! A while ago now I went out to meet a couple of friends on a lovely Sunday afternoon. It was actually the first time I'd met up with them officially (after meeting them in a cafe... No surprises there, right).

This particular afternoon I had a major ah ha moment...as my afternoon at a cafe (which would normally cost around $15-$20) ended up costing that...AND $60 for the parking ticket I got!

Why did this happen? Well... to learn a VERY cool lesson of course (being the master of changing the meaning I put on things).

Here's what happened...

• I drove into a car park...
• saw a few pay and display parking meters...
• saw loads of cars parked in the same area I was about to park...
• questioned weather I would need to pay on a Sunday (not a normal day to pay for parking here in NZ)...
• found that officially I probably should pay because I was in a private area...
• then saw that over 50% of the other cars HAD NOT PAID...

So...I didn't either. I walked away and started thinking about what I was going to order...MMMmmm Coffee....

See what I did? I TOTALLY MADE MY DECISION BASED ON WHAT OTHERS CHOSE TO DO!!!

In this case...BAD MOVE! But...It got me thinking about life and about how many and how often people actually do this. I used it as a very cool lesson for myself...and you can to.

WHERE in your life are you just following others decisions? Maybe when you order food at a restaurant you wait till the end to see what everyone else orders ... and then order the same. Maybe you're in a career that you hate but feel you should stay in, because everyone else does. Maybe you're content with you're mediocre lifestyle, because that's what your mates all do.

It's time to question yourself. REALLY!

The COST of NOT doing so WILL likely cost a bucket load more than my silly $60 fine.

Decide for yourself! I choose to Love The Life I Lead... and am passionate about assisting others in doing the same.

Till Next Time, Love The Life You Lead!

Liz Benny

Owner and Director, Love The Life You Lead